Some funny

The next time someone asks you a dumb question
wouldn't you like to respond like this?
????
Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying
a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal
pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog and was in
the checkout line when the woman behind
me asked if I had a dog.
????? ?
What did she think I had, an elephant??
So since I'm retired and have little to
do, on impulse I told her that no, I
didn't have a dog, I was starting the
Purina Diet again. I added that I
probably shouldn't, because I ended up
in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most
of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
and that the way that it works is to load
your pants pockets with Purina nuggets
and simply eat one or two every time
you feel hungry.? The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going
to try it again.? (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now
enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive
care because the dog food poisoned me.? I told
her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish
Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people.?
They have all the time in the world to
think of crazy things to say.


**Oh man I was laughing so hard. I can totally picture my dad doing this. Hes the sarcastic type.

ahahahahahahahahahaha that was brilliant hahaha